


avengers + sylladices = imminent disaster

by brawltogethernow



Series: avengers × game mechanics [1]
Category: Homestuck, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Crack, Explosions!, Gen, Loki'd, Poptarts, Tony picked out everybody’s colors, because he finds it both hilarious and appropriate, chatlog format, it is up to the reader whether Tony has actually locked Thor's keyboard in capslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 02:30:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1671419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawltogethernow/pseuds/brawltogethernow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TonyStark [TS] opened memo and invited group AVENGERS.<br/>TS: I WILL NEVER HAVE TO BE HANDED ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.</p><p>The Avengers suddenly find themselves interacting with the world by way of sylladex. It's about as ridiculous as you'd expect it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	avengers + sylladices = imminent disaster

TonyStark [TS] opened memo and invited group AVENGERS.

BruceBanner [BB] is logged in.

SteveRogers [SR] is logged in.

NatashaRomanov [NR] is logged in.

ClintBarton [CB] is logged in.

ThorOdinson [TO] is logged in.

This memo is set to public.

TS: I WILL NEVER HAVE TO BE HANDED ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.

NR: Tony are you always going to type like that.

TS: nah man come on im not thor

TO: I AM THOR AND I FIND I CAN HOLD AN UNPRECEDENTED NUMBER OF THE POPPABLE TARTS THIS WAY!

TS: see theres the norse a bomb

TS: thats nice thor

TO: I DO NOT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND, MY FRIEND AND PRACTITIONER OF THE MECHANICAL ARTS

TO: THUS FAR THE NUMBER IS POTENTIALLY INFINITE

TS: hold on

TS: when you say thus far

TS: youre actively testing it aren't you

TO: I COULD NEVER LEAVE SUCH GLORIOUS POSSIBILITIES UNPLUMBED

NR: Hm, you know, I can hold an impressive number of useful objects myself this way.

TS: well that sounds worrying yet awesome

CB: Natasha.

CB: i can carry my entire collection of arrowheads at once!

NR: Does that mean you're going to carry . . .

CB: yes. i finally have room for the communication video arrowhead.

TS: buddy im all for assigning every function possible to random technology but really?

TS: i made you a goddamn fancy communication credit card

CB: i know.

CB: it's just cool.

TS: you frustrate me

NicholasFury [NF] has joined memo!

NF: This is NOT a new excuse to goof around, people.

BB: Please, Nick, like we needed one anyway.

NF: Now you listen to me.

BB: Anyway, I don't think we're focusing on the right part of the event. The real question is: Why has this happened?

TS: dammit bruce why you gotta use so much punctuation

BB: It's called typing, Tony. Like an adult.

TS: you sound like pepper

BB: Well gosh.

NF: I am not going to stand for any more of your childish shenanigans. We have got a real situation on our hands and we have got to deal with the problem instead of standing around and goggling at it like the bunch of civilians I have the great misfortune to know you all to be. I am aware that you are barely capable of conducting yourselves like anything other than hyperactive children when not faced with an impending crisis, but if you fail to recognize the gravity of this situation I will assure that the next time you report in each and every one of you will recognize the gravity of ME BOOTING YOU OFF THE HELECARRIER. Now you are going to SUCK IT UP and PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER.

TS: see fury doesn't type like an """adult""

TS: he types like a corporate exec

TS: speaking of which and by that i mean not really speaking of anything just introducing a new subject here

TS: havent we yet to hear from someone

SR: Alrigjt.

TS: there he is

SR: While I find mastering hew technology to be an enterprising challenge

SR: Tbis is incrwdibly frustrating.

TS: you okay there steve?

SR: Why is it

SR: Why does everything I try to pick up launch something else out a window

SR: Or in some other useless direction

SR: I am afraid to go outside in case I unintentionally injure someone.

SR: My apartment is a shambles

TS: ...what exactly do you have yours set to?

SR: What?

TS: your new piece of miracle reality-accessing technology

CB: wait, these things have settings?

TS: well yeah

TS: of course they do

TS: bruce back me up here

BB: Tony's right, guys. Flip over the abstract mechanism that you're using to interact with objects; it seems like the data structures can be changed with regards to how they interact with one's physical inventory by applying different fetch modi to the sylladex.

SR: ...What

SR: I hate feeling out of my depth like this

NR: No, I didn't understand that either.

TS: okay which floor are you on

TS: five minutes, we meet in the kitchen and bruce and i help you all navigate the wonderful new world of nobody-hands-tony-things-opolis

TS: see there are you happy bruce i used a comma

BB: No.

BB: I mean yes, but, no seriously.

BB: Is no one else (besides Natasha) curious about why this is happening?

LokiLaufeyson [LL] has sent you into a doomed timeline!

LL: };D

LokiLaufeyson [LL] has logged out.

SR: Aw hell.

TS: what

TS: oh

TS: hell

CB: thirded.

NR: Of course.

TO: I FOUND THE ULTIMATE NUMBER TO BE SHORT OF INFINITE.

TO: :(

VirginiaPotts [PP] has joined memo!

PP: Tony, why has the Tower been charged for several thousand boxes of Pop Tarts?

JARVIS: Sir, empty confectionary boxes are beginning to obscure my view from the kitchen cameras.

TS: double hell

TO: IT WAS THE CHOCOLATE VANILLA CREAM WHICH REACHED THE LIMIT I THINK

TO: PERHAPS I SHOULD TRY TO EJECT THEM SOMEHOW

BB: Whoa wait.

TS: whoa wait make sure you can eject one thing at a time instead of everything at once

BB: Hello?

TS: hello

ThorOdinson [TO]'s StarkPhone has been crushed by percussively launched pastry!

TS: ...

BB: How is that an action.

CB: pff..

TS: ...

NF: You BUNCH OF LACKWITS.

NR: Huh.

TS: i just remodeled that kitchen

**Author's Note:**

> Coda:  
> Do you think this has anything to do with Betty Crocker buying out Kellogg's?  
> bruce why would that have anything to do with it  
> Dunno.
> 
>    
> Written for a hastily abandoned spectacularmathon a friend and I staged during a past HS hiatus to keep ourselves occupied, the criteria being that there had to be fanfic, it had to cross Homestuck over with something, and there were no regulations for length, quality, or mechanics of crossover. ~~The sequel that's not going to exist is the one where they find alchemiters and everything goes to hell.~~ I am such a liar.


End file.
